Chapter 2 was missing.

It happened again.

Both Norah Jones and Alicia Keys were absent this time. As was the horoscope.

The ridiculousness of it all - so many coincidences, or am I merely in greater tune? I say 'in greater tune' but perhaps I mean out of sync (as a direct result). I have persistently mused about polar extremes sometimes being a bounded entity; identical in nature, and behaviour.

An insatiable urge rushed through me this morning as I revised for my 'Personality & Individual Differences' course (the examination is this Friday at 9.30am - a time of day that sees me at less than my best in every possible conceptual combination).
Him. HIM. And also him. I did suspect, and my theories grew ever-more precise...
How could I have been so naive? The irreparable damage; grandiose schemes, and fantasies, now bleeding, dripping from tattered hopes. All into one. A liquidated substance at my feet, staring back at me. Not him.. Why him? And why does he insist on these calculated attacks on me: to penetrate those I have loved.
I use that word (both words in fact) with deliberate, and disgusted intent.

What collided in my consciousness this time? Jaffa cakes. Those delicious morsels that I showed great preference for as a child. So what does this mean?

Furthermore, what of this day and age? Are we too embittered? Too unforgiving? Too conscious..?

The consistent, and eternal imagery of him, and him. It is, perhaps, entirely sedated. The beautiful young son of a single-parent mother with impending talent to be realised, just beyond the horizon. Now comatosed, breathing gently with great courtesy of mechanical assistance. The assistance of the industrial past; strong, and withstanding. Painfully slow. Yes, so painful. Not to mention the revelation of untold infidelity - or potential moments. Moments that existed nevertheless, but were absent - unreported, just like my speech.

The people you love, the people you fuck; they each have a corresponding consequence to the next person you meet. The previous will decide whether one person is worthy, or not.

Whether one person is allowed to love you, or not.

It appears, with such dreaded clarity, that time moulds things anew, so much so that there is no return.
Time, you are the great destroyer. Distance, you are the great conclusion.