Fair.

The romantic chance encounter, the awkward hello, and slight rise of the right hand side of my mouth. A burst of red roses and trumpets playing, no. These facets fell down, gargled away and spat out toward the drainage system.

The slight breeze that surrounds us, the gentle warmth of the day, the unexpected feelings inside, they all were vanquished. Swallowed by the mouth of the sticky lips of a slut with all the intentions of the devil and a woman scorned, bitterly retorting after 30 years of entrusting a man with her entire being. Combined together, in fact, in a mish-mash of vulgarity, senselessness and maliciousness.

The worst amalgamation of mistrust; the beauty that one lusts for, and the intelligence that one loves.

When in the habit of knowing more than one should, one wonders whether or not certain revelations should come to light; whose place is it to remove the dusty and stained cloth that conceals the tar-like mess that underlies too many relationships?

I am quite aware, and whether out of spite, or out of the current status quo, I am all too aware. At what point are we able to "be okay" with the master betrayals of lovers - are some lovers never to be 'forgiven'? Do feelings ever truly dissipate? Dribbled out our mouths, with the mess of life, straight into the muck of the sewers beneath us.
Now a far cry from innocence, and the entangled sexual lives of the gay community, who is there left? It is now I begin to understand how someone like A-O can be so peculiar around the concept of liking another person. Two former lovers, sleeping together, and possibly with others at the same time? Could you imagine? This is of course not fact, nor speculation, but it is from the current initial point I begin to comprehend and build vignettes about the trueness of no desire due to persecution and disregard for another's feelings. How does one pick oneself up after such events? Truly shattering.

Each relationship, each person, slowly crumpled like pieces of paper.
I am unsure the creases can ever be flattened out.

There are too few bodies, minds, and hearts that remain sacred enough to immerse myself with. It is probably time to admit defeat, defeat to the grand city, culture, and apathy.

A sewn thought.